LEAP

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

As I'm sure you're all aware, today is the 29th February. As you probably all know, it is traditionally acceptable to propose to your beau today. However, it is a shockingly little known fact that if the object of your affections turns you down, he has to buy you a gift (originally an expensive silk dress). 

As Valentine's Day was so massively bum-out for me this year, I am taking this day as my consolation prize. This is what I plan on doing to every unfortunate male acquaintance who is unlucky enough to cross my path today...




A foolproof plan, no? 

Any of you crazy cats planning on trying something similar? Better yet, any real proposals taking place? Keep me in the loop, please!

In other news, I'm heading down to London tonight to attend a fah-bulous party (I wish I was one of those rare girls who could say fabulous without sounding like an idiot), so - spoilers alert - expect a pretty fancy-pants outfit post tomorrow.

Go forth, get lots of presents, and prosper.

Mona.

FOUR EYES

Monday, 27 February 2012

It occured to me today that I've never shown you me with my glasses (i.e. nerded up). I figured I should stop being so vain and show off the bad boys. 

Glasses are a funny business - although I really like mine, at the same time they do make me feel quite self-conscious. This is possibly due to the years of 2001-2002, when I was fat, bespectacled, and had to wear head-gear all day and all night, due to a cruel experiment by my dentist parents. I was teased quite mercilessly. However, now that I have slightly more flattering frames and magic, secret braces that are behind my teeth, I figure there's no harm in it. 

I mentioned in my New Year's post that one of my resolutions was to get contacts, or actually wear my glasses, and stop bumping into everyone/thing that I come into contact with. I can now proudly tell you that I have contacts, and wear my glasses (but not at the same time). Aren't I good?

If I could, I would have as many pairs of glasses as shoes. I currently have two pairs, and a huge hankering for a enormous owly grey pair, which are a steal at £40 from the Student Union Opticians.  

Rayban
Jean Lafont

So there you have it. Four-Eyes, and proud(ish).

At least Four-Eyes is better than Brace-Face, right?

Mona.

P.S. Sorry for such a lazy-bum post. Bigger and better to come soon - promise.

AWKWARD

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Here are a few choice titbits of embarrassing things that I have done in front of the boy that I fancy. Just because I'm mortified, doesn't mean that you guys don't deserve a couple of laughs...


1. Laughed so hard whilst trying to drink tea that I snorted it all over him. Yup, he was sitting across the table from me, looking mildly horrified, face dripping with my nose-tea. Classic.

2. Set a little bit of my fringe ablaze trying to light a cigarette. The dangers of smoking. His room apparently still smells a bit like charred hair.

3. Tripped walking up the steps outside his house. Yes, not even down. Up. I blamed it on my knee brace, but actually, it's just because I'm an idiot.

4. Gotten so lost in his mesmerisingly blue eyes that I missed my mouth with my spoon, leaving me with ice cream smeared all over my nose.

5. Accidentally flicked out a contact lens, which got stuck to my jumper. He was polite enough to pretend he hadn't noticed. 

6. Yesterday I tripped over his cat. Luckily, he didn't see me, and the cat remained unscathed (although the cat is now not a fan of me. Any cat whisperers out there, I need tips of how to make an angry cat like me please). 

7. Also yesterday, he spilt red wine on my magic jeans, and feeling awful, asked if they were new. I lied and said they were really, really old, and it didn't matter a bit. Please, Vanish Superspray, help me. 

I think that I am destined to die alone and be eaten by my pup. As I'm clearly not going to trick him into thinking I'm a wanton sex goddess, I guess I'll have to try for "adorably klutzy" instead.

Awkward.

Anyone else hugely embarrassed themselves, and fancy sharing? Go on, it's therapeutic (probably)...

Mona (future village spinster).

AWAY TODAY...

... Well, not really "away". I'm guestposting on Charlotte's Blog. If you'd like to read about 10 Things That Make Me Happy, click


It's a real honour to asked to write over there. Charlotte's an amazing writer with lots of funny and heartwarming anecdotes to share. Warning though, you can get lost in her blog for hours, because the content's so great.

Good job it's a Saturday, hey?

Mona.

NEW JEANS AND A RAMBLE

Friday, 24 February 2012

I have new jeans, and let me tell you, they are MAGIC JEANS. Although I was hardly cursed by my gene pool, I was given a pair of legs which have become a bit of a family joke. I got huge thighs and calves from my Dad's side of the family, and the short, bandy legs of my Ma's family.

"Climber's legs, Bridget."

However, I'm now the ecstatic owner of a pair of magic jeans from River Island. They're patterned, high-waisted and skinny, and I thought they'd make my legs look even more like chicken drumsticks than usual. I was honestly planning on trying them on, and then sending them back. But somehow, these   jeans defy all laws of physics and actually make my legs look longer, and if not actually slender, then at least quite a lot less like Richmond Sausages. 

I am never taking these jeans off. They're comfy, flattering, and make me look like a Ming Vase. And everyone wants to look like a Ming Vase, right?

... Right?

Sorry for the awkward photo. I can't actually look directly at the camera as I tried to cut my own fringe (again) and it didn't go so well (again). I'm going to have to beg a flatmate to sort it out later. 

Earrings and Turquoise Necklace - Urban Outfitters; Silver Necklaces - Gifts; Cardigan - H&M; Vest Top - Topshop; Jeans - River Island; Shoes - French Sole
So tonight I'm leaving my coven (as my flat is delightfully referred to by my male friends) and seeing the Boy I kind of fancy... Last night was, predictably, a flurry of outfit-testing for my amused flatmate, and her bemused boyfriend. I'm going with this outfit, despite the fact that R (flatmate's boyfriend) told me in no uncertain terms that cardigans are passion killers and my pink shoes are weird; for I have come to the conclusion that I don't really care what boys think about my clothes - I think it's infinitely more flattering for a girl to appreciate your outfit than a boy. I think that there are some girls who dress for boys, and some who dress for girls. I know which camp I'm in... What about you?

Besides, if the boy doesn't like my clothes, then I'll just have to win him over with my mind (by this I mean with charm and humour etc, not mind control. Although that would probably be easier.). 

My game plan is to not stroke his face/tell him how beautiful I think he is/do anything else massively dorky. Basically, I will suppress every instinct, and try and act like a normal person. And pray he never reads this. Because THAT would be cringe.

I'll let you to what extent I humiliate myself tomorrow.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Mona.

AFTERMATH

Monday, 20 February 2012

Skiing accidents most commonly occur, according to statistics, on the last day of your holiday - possibly due to an increase in that laissez faire, "what's the worst that can happen", attitude. Predictably, day seven involved the worst fall I had all week (not too bad though - panic not!). This was due to a simple case of mistaken identity - I briefly thought that I was one of those cool skiing girls (I'm not) who could do jumps (I can't). After successfully navigating a few small jumps at the Nintendo Terrain Park, I then totally failed to do a table-top, resulting bruise on my behind is about the size of a large orange. Nice! 

I'm also doomed to wear this on my knee for the foreseeable future:


Attractive, hey? 

It's lovely to be back on solid ground in rainy Manchester, although the initial shock of not being brought freshly baked cookies and hot chocolate every twenty minutes has been somewhat of a shock to the system. However, I've decided to lay off the treats for a while, after this conversation at the airport.

Big Bro: "How's your blog coming along?"
Me: "Well! I've had over 800 pageviews in the last month!"
Ma: "800 PASTRIES? I noticed you've put on a lot of weight, but I wasn't going to say anything..."
Me: "PAGEVIEWS. But thanks, Ma."

So the new food plan is healthy things like salads and berries for the foreseeable future. When I'm looking a bit more svelte, I plan on treating myself to a few beautiful things from Beautiful Bottoms. I think they'll look totally ravishing when paired with my knee brace... 

As for the boy situation, I saw the one who made me the embarrassing proposition on Valentine's Day. Think clipped sentences and avoiding eye contact on both parts. Say awkward turtle! My phone is currently being massively antisocial and not receiving text messages, so I have no idea whether the boy that I'm interested in has replied to my messages or being in contact at all. But I live in hope!

I hope you all had really great weekends?

Mona.


DAY SIX

Saturday, 18 February 2012

I'm going home tomorrow, and it's snowing beautifully outside. Sad face. However, I'll be up early in the morning to get a few hours of skiing on fresh powder (the dream!) before the horrendous airport traipse - I've been warned to expect three hour delays at Heathrow. The joy!

Today I went shopping in Whistler village with Big Bro. He graduated last year, and, as a working man, sometimes buys me lovely things to cheer me up whilst I bemoan the state of my love life/overdraft. What more could I want in a big brother? Today was no exception - I think he feels bad that there is no man in my life to buy me things, bless him. I'll post the gift when I get some decent snaps.

My mouse ears went down well in Whistler. I always said that the Canadians have a keen sense of bitchin' headgear.

Excuse the repeat outfit... Excess baggage, trying to pack light... You know how it is.
We went to Sidecut, an incredible steak house, for supper. I sampled my first wagyu beef (totally worth the 22 year wait), and also had the most perfectly cooked asparagus I've ever tasted in my life. Too full to get off the sofa this evening, I spent my time re-designing my blog. Hope you approve!

Please write really really interesting posts tomorrow so that I can kill the predicted three hour delay at Heathrow reading them! Thank you!

Mona.

DAY FIVE

Friday, 17 February 2012

I made it back onto the mountain today! I'm so pleased, and I also managed to get onto my first (and second) blue run (for the non-skiers amongst you, this is actually the second easiest kind, but a huge personal achievement nonetheless). The reason for such a feat of daredevilry on my part was that I'd been receiving rave reviews all around about the Belgian Waffles at Crystal Hut. This is an adorable little log cabin restaurant on Blackcomb Mountain, but is only accessible via blue runs - apparently beginner skiers don't deserve waffles.

Crystal Hut - Image Source

So, I can now class myself as an intermediate skier, and I got to eat this:



So all in all, totally worth facing my own mortality.


Their hot chocolate's pretty good too...

It would appear that this holiday is more about the food than the skiing, wouldn't it? Actually, I just have a total lack of skiing photos to show you, as I'm nowhere near adept enough to handle a camera whilst remaining upright. However, tomorrow is my last full day on the mountain (sob), so I will nag a brother into taking some pictures for you. In case you're at all inclined to see pictures of me looking heinous and flailing around in the snow. There is so much flailing going on...

If you're ever lucky enough to make it over to Whistler, get one of these waffles. Don't think. Just do. 
Mona.

Mona. 

DAY FOUR

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Hey cool cats.

Sadly today my knee was playing up too much to ski. Luckily, I'm staying in a gorgeous hotel so instead I spent the morning stuffing my face with berries, french toast and bacon before relaxing myself into a near-comatose state at the spa. It's a hard life, eh?

This afternoon I donned my Kigu and went zipwiring with my Ma, which was hilarious fun. The Canadians thought we were totally insane, but they were surprisingly adept at keeping out the cold, not to mention comfier than salopettes. Here is the most singularly unflattering picture that I will (hopefully) ever upload onto this blog... 


With a little bit of luck I'll be back on the slopes by tomorrow... In the meantime, there are cinnamon buns from the Hot Buns bakery to be devoured. I am such a pie on holiday.

Mona.

DAY THREE - VALENTINES DAY

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Day three brought me no bears (still hibernating, lazy sods), a pretty nasty crash with a snowboarder, but no actual crashes that were my fault. Which hopefully means that I'm improving. It also brought me mild sunburn. Factor 15 doesn't cut the mustard, apparently. To make up for the lack of bears in my life, I bought myself this little fella:


I haven't named him yet, but he's currently living around my neck until I can pop into my jewellers, when he will make a delightful addition to my charm bracelet. 

I smugly thought I'd avoid any singleton angst this Valentine's Day as I am on another continent. But alas, it found me. 

I received one proposition of coupledom that I just did not want, or expect, and which will make life extremely awkward on my return to university (I politely declined, but I don't think that will help that much). 

I didn't hear from the boy I like. This is a funny one, as I'm not big on Valentine's - yes, I'm one of those justifying, slightly bitter singletons - yet it would have been nice to know that he was thinking about me. Which he clearly wasn't; as previously stated, I'm not actually sure if he's interested in me romantically or if he sees me as some cool chick who makes good cupcakes and can give him a run for his money on FIFA. 

I'm in a refusing to settle mood with boys at the moment. I've always had boys who like me despite my ugly jumpers/odd haircuts/love of kigus, mouse ears et al, but I think the next one I would like to like me because of those things. Because that's what makes me, well, me. I can't hide my batshit-crazy side for ever, so I'd better find someone who likes it. 

In the meantime, however, I'm in a beautiful hotel in Canada, with mouse ears, fudgsicles, and Season One of Downton Abbey. So life's actually pretty great, bumbling along, all aloney on my owney. 


I hope that the coupled-up amongst you received cards with wonderful sentiments, beautiful bouquets and lovely gifts. As for the Singletons (my people), any secret admirers appear out of the woodworks? Any romantic brags to be made? I'm in a mood to hear some seriously fuzzy stuff, so feel free to share!

Also, how brilliant are these cards? I'm not too sure how to image source this, it was uploaded to Facebook this morning and has been shared 14,000 times (and counting), so some of you have probably seen them...


The Trotsky one is my absolute fave.

Mona.

DAY TWO

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Day two of skiing.

Bears spotted: 0
Face Plants: 1
Old Injuries Making a Comeback: 1

Last year, whilst living in Beijing, I was hit by a van and knocked off my bike. No biggy at the time, but left my knee a bit dodgy, and it has decided it does not like skiing one bit. I, however, do not care. My knee can bitch and whine all it wants from next week onwards, but this holiday it will COOPERATE, damn it. The plan is ibruprofen gel, a knee brace, cold compresses, and also manning up and just getting on with it. 

Having said that, knee braces are a fantastic way to destroy the line of a really nice pair of trousers. This is what I wore to spend the evening in Whistler Village (which is beautiful, by the way). 

Beret - Gift; Scarf - ?; Leather Jacket - Zara; Quilted Jacket- Topman (via Oxfam); Top - Thrifted; Shearling Gloves - UO; Trousers - UO; Boots - Kurt Geiger
Excuse my super-dopy expression. Let's blame it on the pain-killers. Excuse too, the bright red lip, if you will. In the pharmacy picking up ice packs earlier, I discovered a Cover Girl make-up stand. Being the ANTM whore that I am, I had to try something, and so have been walking around with crazy bright lips all evening. I'll say one thing for their lip stain - it's effective. Finally, excuse my GIANT KNEE. Combination of bad pose for hiding said knee, and huge knee brace...

It's kind of making me walk like a pirate (which I may dig a little, to be honest...).

I really hope this doesn't sound whiney. I'm having a fantastic holiday; the experience has just been improved even more, for in the supermarket out here, I discovered Lucky Charms, Big Red chewing gum and Arizona iced tea. Heaven! 

Mona.

DAY ONE

Monday, 13 February 2012

Whistler is an amazing place. I've just returned from my first day of skiing, where I'm proud to say I made it off the nursery slope and onto some proper runs (due to a fantastic ski coach called Dave and a total lack of regard for my own survival).

Bears Spotted: 0 (apparently they're in hibernation)
Face Plants: 1
Brushes With Death: 0

Satirically, I'm a total disgrace. I've managed to squeeze myself into my old ski clothes that hadn't left the attic since I was fifteen. If I were to do one of those "Letter to my Fifteen Year Old Self" things, I would probably just leave it at "Seriously, end the shopping habit at Roxy. It's really not doing you any favours. And it now makes the twenty two year old me look like a total prat on the slopes."

Check it:


However, I can't blame the whole ensemble on my fifteen year old shopping choices. The t shirt is from Daydreamer LA (I'll show it to you again soon - I promise it looks adorable when not styled with hiking thermals), and I bought the hat today. I love this hat for two reasons:
  1. It is high-vis, and will therefore be really helpful when Search and Rescue are looking for me in ravines, and
  2. It makes me look like Big Bird.
Maybe this evening I'll put on something more glamourous to head into town. Or, I may watch chick flicks and gorge myself on room service. I'll keep you informed. 

Have you ever visited Whistler? If so, I'd love some recommendations of must-visit places?

Mona.

P.S. Several of your lovely comments on my last post (seriously, thank you, you're all total dolls) complimented my nail varnish. In case anyone's interested, it's Rimmel Lycra Pro in 420 Aqua Cool, and the whole range is currently 2 for £5.99 at Superdrug. Get involved, ladies. 

PLAYING CATCH-UP

Friday, 10 February 2012

Sorry for neglecting you all once again. It’s been a manic week. I spent last weekend in Leeds, shopped lots, and frolicked in the snow in inappropriate shoes. This week has been more nose-to-the-grindstone, less merriment. You know it’s bad when you go a week with no post-worthy outfits, just practical clothes. I do, however, have two pieces of news.

             I met a boy.
As you may be aware, for about eight months I’ve been one of those happy singletons, dating a few guys but perfectly content bumbling around on my own for the most part. This boy, however, will (hopefully) be a bit different. I’m pathetic and giggley and total lose my mental faculties when I’m around him. It’s seriously embarrassing. We’re in that stage where I have no idea what’s going on, if he actually fancies me, or what. Nightmare. But I’ll keep you posted.

I’m going skiing!
I’m currently on the train down to London, where I’m meeting my family and flying to Canada tomorrow to hit the slopes. With my face.

I also wanted to show you my new earrings! I have pimped my ears…

All Urban Outfitters, natch. I need to shop somewhere else, and soon...
Tomorrow you can find me at Charlotte’s Web. For some reason, she’s letting me tarnish her lovely, well-written blog with my inane witterings. So be sure to check it out… Depending on wi-fi at the airport, you may find me blithering on here, too. 

Mona. 

UGLY JUMPERS

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Confession - since last summer I've been becoming increasingly obsessed with slightly ugly knitwear. I've started assembling a collection of what my brothers refer to as "Man Repellers", my neighbour calls my "grandma clothes", and which makes my flatmate shriek "WHY can't you just buy NICE jumpers that I can BORROW?"

But I don't care. I love them. I just love them. And I'm proud to say that I almost have enough ugly jumpers now that I can wear them every day of the week. Living the dream.

Here are three of my favourite Man Repellers:



All Urban Outfittters

I love them so much, I've just started knitting my own Man Repeller. It's going quite well... I have a back, and half a front. I'm getting quite speedy at this knitting thing now. Which is lucky, as I have to keep out that February chill somehow.

I think I'm going to attempt patterns next time!

Mona.

NOTE TO SELF

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Buy more snow-ppropriate shoes.


Brr...

Mona.

BITCHING AND JUNKFOOD

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Ever since I had my hair chopped off, I've developed a weird fascination with all varieties of headgear - hats, garlands, headscarves, scarf clips in my hair - anything that makes my mop slightly more decorative, I want. This double pom pom headband from Bitching and Junkfood takes the biscuit of awesomeness. And I got it at a massive discount. Huzzah!





It makes me look like Minnie Mouse on crack. I cannot get enough of it. I plan on wearing it everywhere; starting with a Lee Scratch Perry gig in Leeds tomorrow.

There is no better delayed gratification than seeing something for £65 in December, and then snapping it up in January for £20. If you're tempted (which according to my flatmate, you won't be. She finds it a highly offensive accessory) I think there are still a few left on the Urban Outfitters website.

Are you in my camp (best thing ever!)? Or do you support my flatmate (get that ridiculous thing off your head. Now.)?

Thank you to all my new followers! I'm planning a Giveaway when I hit the big 100 on GFC... Watch this space girlies.

Mona (Mouse).
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