I'm going to do something that my Ma told me never to do, because it's vulgar. Right here, right now.
I'm going to talk to you about money.
If you click back through my last three blog posts, you'll see that I've just come back from a long, and wonderful, weekend in Auberge, in the South of France*. Lots of your lovely comments on the posts commented on how you guys would love to go on holiday, but just can't afford it.
"This won't do," I thought to myself.
Because of my enormous love for you all, I saved all of the receipts and did a little maths. Here's what it will cost you to do your own little road-trip, UK to France...
You will need:
Some friends - the more the better, for splitting the cost. If you take the Channel Tunnel, then you're paying for the car, not the amount of passangers. Hello bargain.
A return ticket on the Channel Tunnel will cost you about €100. Assuming your car is normal sized, then this can mean you're paying as little as €20 Euros, or £15.67 (thanks, Google!) to hit France, and get back again. And it only takes 35 minutes.
Over four days, our petrol bill came up to €214.68. And these are your only essentials, if you want to camp, which can be done for as little as €4.20 a night.
So the total essential bill comes up to €314.68, or £246.60. If this is split between four or five friends, that's less than a single train ticket from London to Manchester.
Once you hit France, you'd honestly struggle to spend more than €10 a day on food, provided that you use small-town patisseries and grocers. Farmer's Markets are also a good option, they're all over the place, a total bargain, and the food is incredibly fresh!
As B and I only had a few days to explore France, we were keen to hit the Sunny South. We therefore used toll roads to speed up the journey, which cost us a total of €101.80, or £78.77. Again, split between four people, this is less than the average Londoner spends on their Oyster Card over four days. However, toll roads are easily avoided if you have the time to dawdle, and who knows what kind of adventures you may discover on the scenic route?
Confession time - I didn't exactly slum it, in France. But using the Michelin Guide app, we managed to find some pretty amazing hotels, which only cost about €80 a night, half board (B&B). But for €80 a night, you can get this...
... Not too shabby, hey?
In all seriousness, though, hotels are a decadence, and there's really no need. We were so tired from all the river swimming we were getting up to, we could have literally slept anywhere.
So, what are you waiting for? Get your butt off the sofa and convince three friends to scrape together £100, and get yourself over to France! I promise, promise, promise that you won't regret it...
I've clearly missed my vocation. I should have been an accountant, or a travel agent, or something.
*Note - not as in the Champagne-swigging, yacht-hosting "South of France". This is a bit higher up, much cheaper and far less pretentious. But geographically, it's quite South. And in France.